You may be wondering what I was doing with cutlery in the bathroom. If any of my old housemates read this they’ll probably bring up the “washroom popcorn incident”… Honestly, you track ONE piece of popcorn into the bathroom on your sock and for months you get accused of eating food where no food should ever be eaten…..
But it’s not like that. It’s quite simple really. My kitchen sink is clogged. Very clogged. I’ve tried boiling water, chemicals, plunging, wire coat hanger, crazy aluminum snake, I even went all “old school plumber” and unscrewed all of the pipes under my sink and cleaned them out. Grossest thing in my life but you know why? It’s because Beyonce Knowles inspired me to be an independent woman, fix my OWN sink, buy my OWN rings—
NO! It’s because it’s too expensive to get a plumber here! I bet Beyonce Knowles has never dry heaved after scrapping an indistinguishable lumpy something from 40 year old sink pipes. I bet Beyonce has never had to use a giant Tupperware bowl as a sink and when the bowl gets heavy has to take the bowl to the toilet and dump the bowl but didn’t see that there was a spoon in the bottom of the soapy bowl but heard a “clink” when she dumped the bowl in the toilet and then had to reach in the toilet and GET the spoon because the LAST thing she wants is for the TOILET to clog because THEN where would she dump the soapy kitchen water?????
I DON'T WANT TO BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN BEYONCE!
I just want water to drain properly from my kitchen sink!!
In conclusion, today I dropped a spoon in my toilet.
Write a song about THAT Beyonce.
