Halloween

Halloween is a time to get creative. With limited resources and a politically charged atmosphere I decided to go as something frightening and relevant: North Korea. You can't see it well, but Kim-Jong Il is on there, along with massive amounts of plutonium, Kofi Annan holding UN sanctions, Nuclear warning signs, communist flag, and arrows pointing to China and the Sea of Japan, but not to South Korea, because that would pretty much give away my costume completely. I went to "Intern Halloween" which I intend on posting some photos once I scrounge some up! Aaron went as a Swiss 20 dollar bill, Dave was some guy from Sin City who looked like a scary Charlie Brown, Mike was an Office Zombie (that one hit close to home), Nadia was the devil, Melissa was a witch, Caroline was the Corpse Bride, Nikki was a Sexy Leopard ("Are you like a dog bunny?" -Dave), Meg was Micheal Jackson circa: Thriller, Yaron and Elena were a photographer and Yoko Ono, and Farhad was an egg.
It was a fun night! 

Weird

Today I saw myself on the bus. Okay well not exactly. I saw a woman who looked EXACTLY like me only she was about 65. It was surreal. Same body shape and build as me (with only a few gravity related differences), same hair (only completely white), same shade of lipstick (Yves Rocher’s ‘Sugar Sass’), and same “Trendy without being offensive” sense of style.
We caught eyes and it was so…. familiar. We even both rolled our eyes at each other when a girl came on the bus wearing hot pants and elf shoes and I may be dreaming this, but I’m quite sure I also heard a muffled nose gaffaw come from her too. I am KNOWN for my muffled nose gaffaws!
It was like looking in a mirror; a crazy time machine mirror.
When my elderly doppelganger was getting off the bus, she looked at me and smiled as if to say “Hang in there, you’ll age nicely” OR as if to say “I have a daughter who looks just like you who dances at the Moulin Rouge”……

I guess we’ll never know.

My identical twin is a stripper......

C= Older female employee who works in the same building as me.

C: Natalie, I have to tell you something. I saw you on Saturday night dancing.
Me: Huh?
C: Well I thought it was you. I was out with some friends at a club and I saw this girl dancing really suggestively and she looked just like you. Same height, same build. I was actually really disturbed! But then I bumped into her and she started speaking French and well, we all know you don’t speak French…!
Me: That’s weird, so what club was it?
C: Uh…. Well. The Moulin Rouge.
Me: The trashy strip club?
C: Yes, I was there celebrating a birthday with some friends, they wanted to go there.
Me: So, the ONLY reason that you knew it wasn’t me was because she spoke French… It had nothing to do with the fact that I’m not exactly the kind of person who would dance at a strip club….???
C: Well…. She looks a lot like you. What you do on the weekend is none of my busi-
Me: I don’t dance at strip clubs!
C: Well your identical twin does!
Me: I’m going back to my office now……

***Backs away slowly

Second trip to Gruyere!

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Independent woman

Today I dropped a spoon in my toilet.




You may be wondering what I was doing with cutlery in the bathroom. If any of my old housemates read this they’ll probably bring up the “washroom popcorn incident”… Honestly, you track ONE piece of popcorn into the bathroom on your sock and for months you get accused of eating food where no food should ever be eaten…..

But it’s not like that. It’s quite simple really. My kitchen sink is clogged. Very clogged. I’ve tried boiling water, chemicals, plunging, wire coat hanger, crazy aluminum snake, I even went all “old school plumber” and unscrewed all of the pipes under my sink and cleaned them out. Grossest thing in my life but you know why? It’s because Beyonce Knowles inspired me to be an independent woman, fix my OWN sink, buy my OWN rings—

NO! It’s because it’s too expensive to get a plumber here! I bet Beyonce Knowles has never dry heaved after scrapping an indistinguishable lumpy something from 40 year old sink pipes. I bet Beyonce has never had to use a giant Tupperware bowl as a sink and when the bowl gets heavy has to take the bowl to the toilet and dump the bowl but didn’t see that there was a spoon in the bottom of the soapy bowl but heard a “clink” when she dumped the bowl in the toilet and then had to reach in the toilet and GET the spoon because the LAST thing she wants is for the TOILET to clog because THEN where would she dump the soapy kitchen water?????

I DON'T WANT TO BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN BEYONCE!

I just want water to drain properly from my kitchen sink!!

In conclusion, today I dropped a spoon in my toilet.

Write a song about THAT Beyonce.

To DO LIST

To do list:

1. Stop selecting “Swaziland” instead of “Switzerland” when using drop down country menus.

2. Learn French phrases for “Don’t touch me!” and “Can I pet your dog?” (and not mix them up in the heat of the moment)

3. Quit watching “Shake Ton Booty” on French MTV

4. Shut blinds, THEN undress

5. Undress, THEN get in shower (I’m not a morning person)

6. Stop buying and/or stop eating delicious tasting lip gloss

7. Rename office cat from “Sugar Baby Kissy Boots Officer Cuddle Napkin the Fourth” to something shorter and more comfortable for everyone in the office to say.

8. Update my blog consistently.

Nat and Bev do Paris!