I’ve often noted that living alone has resulted in an unprecedented level of bizarre concessions that I make based on the fact that there is no one to answer to, but me. For instance, I put a bit of polenta in everything I eat… I just like the texture. I have a towel in the middle of my floor because whenever the song “I don’t need a man” comes on French MTV, I stop everything I’m doing and do 50 crunches. And I have a little white sign taped to the top of my door handle that says “Wallet,
All of these things I wouldn’t do if someone else were here. (probably)
My latest concession has to do with my bed. I have a large queen sized IKEA bed. I only sleep on a quarter of it. Ikea beds often have planks that sit across the bed frame to hold up the mattress. Somehow about 5 planks have come out of place. Because of this, my mattress sinks in there until it’s stopped by the pull out mattress under my bed. I’d just like to explain, that my bed isn’t broken, I can simply put the planks back in, but words can’t even explain how comfortable it is to sleep nestled in this divot. I once walked into my bathroom at home and found my cat lying in the sink. I finally now understand why she did that. The same concept is employed here; only my cat is considerably dumber than I am.
I curl up in my bed hole every night and fall asleep immediately; I am starting to get worried that I may never be able to sleep on a straight surface again.
